I hate all girls vehemently.
i barfeds in our rink
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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