i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
YAS. BRING CRAB.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
