"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Pappa wants mamma naked
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
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