There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
