i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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