So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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