I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
this hospital has no fireball
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
