First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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