remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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