Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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