It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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