I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
