He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
