Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
