we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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