I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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