that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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