how hairy? two words: wookie tits
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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