i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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