I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
