We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
