im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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