i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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