The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
