quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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