i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
