brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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