i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
me + whiskey = a bad person
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
