she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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