So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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