he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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