I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
