it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
