What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
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the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
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Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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