So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
