love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
