we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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