we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
