It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
