Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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