Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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