Duck Duck Cougar?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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