If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize