I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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