no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I smell like Dick and happiness
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
