to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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