How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
