awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
