is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
