Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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