i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
