Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
