I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
