is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
