She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
