Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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