AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
