she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
