Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
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