I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize